My Wandering Days..., T.M.

Looking back I can see the hand of God in all the circumstances of my life. My life has been one of seeking for truth and fulfillment. It can be summed up in the lines of a hymn:

My wandering days grew increasingly empty.

As I search for the way,

Just to fill this gap inside me-

Found my seeking vain.

A search in His Word found my hardened heart softened,

And earth's vanities faded

In the brightness of His presence

Jesus came into me.

Hymns #1328

In April of 1999, I took a break from university to backpack through Europe. Before the trip I had been “church hopping” for several years. In one campus group I joined, I enjoyed myself and even experienced Christ in a small way, but this small taste just made me more hungry for spiritual growth. I needed to find a way to be more constant in my spiritual pursuit. The times of satisfaction were so few and far between. By the time I left for Europe, my view was that I would just seek the Lord on my own: I could make it on my own and I didn't need anyone else.

The only contact I had with other believers on my whole trip was one gathering with the believers meeting with the local church in London. The rest of the three months were on my own. Although I need a deep, secret relationship with the Lord, I also need to meet with other believers. This trip showed me I couldn't “make it” on my own. When talking to a fellow believer in the local church in my city, I described to her my deep inward feeling of being “dry.” Just as the Samaritan woman in John 4 needed living water, I did too.

Within a few months (October) I was on a plane to Taiwan, for an earthquake relief/evangelical trip. This trip revealed to me a vision of the Body of Christ. I was in a place where we all spoke different languages, had different cultures, and yet when we met together, we all had the same burden. One afternoon I looked around the room to see faces I had known for less than five days and yet really saw my brothers and sisters. I had to leave my own country to experience such oneness with believers that corresponded to God's original intention. Only within the local churches all around the world have I seen the oneness of all the members of the Body of Christ.